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Article #1:

"Top 10 Signs That Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is Cheating On You"

Some of the signs and clues discussed so far may already seem quite strange to you. Or they may not.

If not, the ones discussed in this section will most likely fit into the "strange and unexplainable" -or even the "illogical" - category.

And, it's no surprise that when the person is approached about it, he may offer equally strange explanations that don't make much sense... or he may simply get annoyed, upset or just decide to ignore/dodge the question completely.

You may start noticing your partner leaving the house unexpectedly, and maybe during odd hours; The frequency may increase over time.

When away, or just before leaving, your partner may tell you that s/he can be reached at a different (new) number, instead of the usual friends' or work phone number.

Your partner may suddenly start to work a lot of 'overtime,' but his/her paycheck or income does not show any change.

Moreover, you may notice the amount of money being deposited into your bank account decreasing, without any explanations.

You may also notice unexpected charges on credit cards and/or unexplained purchase receipts.

You notice your partner spending a lot more time on the computer, especially when you're not around or have gone to bed.

You find your partner becoming more (even overly) protective of certain personal items like the cell phone, purse, personal organizer, journal, mail, computer user account, etc.

You may even notice him/her starting to keep the cell phone, purse, etc. by the bed while sleeping (or easy access as well as for added privacy.)

Phone records / bills may also start to become more important to them and less available to you.

You notice your partner starting to delete records of incoming (or even outgoing) calls from the phone's caller ID.

You may find your partner text messaging on the cell phone frequently. This is especially curious if s/he wasn't necessarily a fan of text messaging in the past.

You may notice your partner deleting incoming e-mails more frequently instead of letting them accumulate like s/he used to do.

Your partner may go out for coffee, cigarettes, groceries, etc. and not return till several hours later. This will be even more suspicious if s/he returns without the item(s) that s/he went out to get.

You may notice your partner starting to accuse you of cheating, or at least becoming more suspicious of your activities. (This is often brought on by his/her own guilt and/or a defensive or even misdirection attempt to throw you off.)

Your partner may start to ask interesting hypothetical questions like, "Do you think we're meant to love only one person?"...."Is there really such a thing as a soul mate, and if so, how the heck are we supposed to know?"...."Is it possible to love more than one person?"...."Has anyone ever cheated on you, and how did you find out...or...did you forgive him/her when you found out?"

You may start to get phone calls where the caller doesn't say anything and/or hangs up when you answer. (Moreover, you notice that this doesn't seem to ever happen when your partner answers the phone.)

You find your partner whispering or using a low voice when using the phone sometimes, and maybe even hanging up the phone quickly after. Your partner may even start to walk out of the room or step outside to answer and/or talk on the phone, when s/he didn't used to do this in the past.

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Article #2:

"Getting Inside The Mind Of A Cheater"

Getting a better (and deeper) understanding of who cheats, and why they do it in the first place, can really help everyone and solve a lot of the problems that occur before, during, and after the incident.

Most of us believe that people who have affairs are 'cheaters' from the start. We believe that people who cheat are 'bad' to begin with, and that it's only a matter of time before they would have cheated anyway.

To continue with that logic, many of us also believe that 'good' people never cheat... And, if they do, it's only because they're in a bad relationship.

Sure, there are some people who will cheat for no reason at all. Cheating is simply a part of their current belief system.

However, some of us may be surprised to learn that some good people, in normal relationships - without any prior history of having affairs - end up having affairs all the time. In fact, having an affair doesn't have much to do with whether a person is good or bad.

Almost all of us have seen at least one couple that we would have never imagined would split up or get a divorce. (Many of these breakups eventually happen over an affair that one of the partners had, and often the affair is not made public to even close friends or relatives.)

To almost everyone around them, the two people appeared to be the 'perfect couple.' Funny how that happens, isn't it?

So...before we discuss what drives a normal person into cheating, let's talk about why certain personality types are more likely to have affairs even if they are good people and never intend on cheating. (Many of these same people are also against cheating and strongly disapprove of anyone cheating, for any reason.) They are also the ones that end up regretting what they did, afterwards.

Knowing what makes certain types of people have affairs may also help you to avoid dating, starting relationships and/or marrying those types of people.

Okay....let's dissect this further. Let's talk about some of the reasons why seemingly 'good' people are more likely to and/or end up having affairs.

Easy To Influence/Naďve/Gullible

This category is different from lacking mental strength or will power. In this case, the person can easily be persuaded or influenced by others into accepting a new idea, belief or perception.

This type of person may have excellent self control, but is very gullible or naive so other people can easily help her to change her mind...often about the very subject that she personally has great self control over.

Things to look for:

Does s/he often fall prey to other people's pranks and tricks? Is s/he easy to fool and does s/he easily believe what she sees, hears or reads...even if it was meant as a joke?

Does sarcasm or other people's real intentions go over his/her head? (If she's female, is she usually oblivious to guys' advances towards her?)

Lack Of Willpower/Mental Strength/Self Control

This may seem silly to some people, but people who generally display a lack of will power or mental strength are perfect candidates for cheating. (Remember, they may not be bad people and may never intend to cheat or even realize that they will do something like that.)

Pay attention to how she (or he) reacts to cravings, how often she sticks to her goals, how often she keeps her word and her promises, what her 'indulgence' level is, etc.

Displaying addictive behaviors is also something to pay attention to, whether it's towards controlled substances (alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, etc.) or even things like shopping, TV, desserts, or sex.

Basically, if she has a hard time controlling her urges, if she struggles with goals, if she tends to procrastinate a lot and/or not follow through on what she plans or promises, she's a good candidate for being drawn into cheating.

She could be the nicest person you've ever met and she may even be in love with her partner. As mentioned earlier, it has nothing to do with how good natured the person is.

And it may not even be a conscious decision on her part to cheat on her partner. It's simply her lack of self control that gets her in trouble...and it's usually something she will regret after acting on (just as a person will regret having an extra helping of cake after the fact, even if she's trying to stick to her diet.)

Lack Of Respect, Trust And/Or Value For The Partner

This one is fairly straight forward and yet one of the easiest to miss, for most people.

If your partner doesn't respect you (or starts to lose respect for you over time,) doesn't trust you nor consider you very reliable, and especially if s/he doesn't value you much as a person and thinks you're beneath him/her or that s/he is better than you, there is a very good chance s/he could cheat on you.

Does s/he care about hurting your feelings with what s/he says and does? Or does s/he do it anyway, even when s/he knows you'll feel hurt, insignificant, or that you'll disapprove?

If a person doesn't respect or value you much, you are already of low importance to him/her, and whether s/he realizes is yet or not, you're also easily replaceable.

You should note that his/her lack of respect for you may not always be obvious or blatant. In fact, most times, it will only be displayed within the subtle remarks and attitude that occur occasionally. (People will rarely come out and say, "I don't have any respect for you." Their disrespectful attitude will usually be observed through their actions rather than their words.)

As such, most people (especially men) either ignore these actions or are in complete denial of it. And, they are in complete disbelief when the woman finally finds someone else. (Respecting the man she's with is very important to a woman. Without it, it's only a matter of time before she finds someone else who, in her eyes, is "a better man.")

You may also want to pay attention to how your partner's level of respect fluctuates. If it happens to vary dramatically from day to day, the lowest level will eventually be associated as the primary level...if that pattern continues to occur. (In other words, if there are days where s/he doesn't respect you at all, that is probably how little s/he will end up respecting you, over time...whether s/he consciously recognizes it or not.)

The more frequently his/her loss of respect for you is displayed, the more likely it is for him/her to end up cheating on you.

Also note, on the days where s/he displays the least respect and value for you are the most likely days for him/her to decide to get together with someone else -- even if it happens to be the only time s/he cheats, and without prior intent or planning. (Of course, just 'getting together' with someone may not cheating, but the situation could easily escalate into something more.)

It's very important to understand that a lack of respect is usually caused by who you are (or who your partner sees you to be) and not by what you do. In other words, getting upset or angry over something, or even cursing at you for some reason may not necessarily mean that your partner has lost respect for you. It may just mean that s/he is angry at you over something.

On the other hand, if you do something that displays a character flaw, at least to your partner, it could cause him/her to lose respect for you, whether the loss of respect is temporary or permanent.

So, while forgetting to pick up milk on the way home may be upsetting, it won't necessarily cause a loss of respect. However, forgetting to pick up milk because you chose to stop by the pub for drinks, or because you took a detour to the strip club instead, will most likely cause a loss of respect.

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Article #3:

"Why Do People Have Affairs?"

It's natural for people to wonder "why" someone cheated on them. That tends to be the very first question people ask when they get cheated on. (It makes sense since most people believe it would never happen to them.)

And, as such, these people often come from a place of anger, sadness, defensiveness, vindictiveness, and so on. Which means, they are rarely able to get to the real truth / reason for their partner's infidelity.

They simply get caught up in the blame game where they either blame themselves, their partner, the 'other' person that their partner had the affair with - which is funny and pathetic at the same time, yet extremely common. Why a person would blame the third party for the affair is beyond me. (Actually, it's simply a coping mechanism / denial but...anyway...)

The point is, most people blame 'people' (whether themselves or others) for the affair...when, in fact, the answer is often more complicated than that.

The problem often is not with the person but with what the person is doing - or not doing.

Also, in many cases, the problem isn't really about the people in the relationship but more about the 'relationship.' There are other forces at work that affect which direction the relationship takes.

As mentioned in another section, people often end up in relationships (or marriages) too quickly, for the wrong reasons, or for surface level reasons that tend to make them happy but only on a surface level.

And, as such, when they happen to come across another person that impacts them on a deeper level, they find themselves being pulled towards this new person.

What Pulls People Toward Affairs

The big ones, in this category, are: love, romance, or even attraction.

For most people, love just seems to happen. They have no control over it. If they happen to find a person that happens to push the right buttons in them, they find themselves falling in love. Before they realize it, things have gone beyond the point that they ever planned on - often beyond the point of going back to how things 'used' to be.

Romance and attraction can be the same way. A person may have to meet someone who, without meaning to, happens to ignite romance or the idea of romance in them.

Example: A woman may find out that a male co-worker always bought his ex-girlfriend flowers on special occasions - and sometimes for no reason at all. This may ignite a romantic thought in the woman. And, without realizing, she may start seeing this co-worker as a romantic ideal. Before she realizes, it has turned into an infatuation. And, so on.

For most people, attraction also seems to just happen. They can't quite explain it. Sometimes it's a physical attraction. Other times, they are attracted to the person's intelligence, power, social status, etc.

For others, the things that pull them toward an affair can be the excitement, the challenge, or even something as simple as curiosity. They are drawn toward an opportunity to experience something new and exciting.

What Pushes People Toward Affairs

Just as there are forces that draw people toward a new person or a new experience, there are forces that push people away from their current partner and into the arms of someone else.

Boredom is a big one here. A person could have an average life, with an average job and an averagely adequate relationship. Suddenly, they are faced with an opportunity to break out of the norm and jump into something 'exciting' and different.

Before they realize it, they're involved in something that could potentially threaten their existing relationship.

People may also feel unattractive, unloved or unappreciated by their current partner. (Their partner may either fail to express these things or they just may not express it in the right way.)

In an attempt to reclaim their attractiveness or worth, they may be pushed toward someone who happens to fit their idea of what's missing in their life.

Anger, disgust, or other negative emotions toward their partner can also make people vulnerable to infidelity. Anger can affect a person's sense of judgment in a big way. Add to that the desire to punish their partner...and you've got a recipe for something not-so-pleasant.

And, of course, there can be lots of other reasons that boil down to one of the partners feeling like something is missing from the existing relationship. It can range from sexual frustration to arguments over money issues.

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